In my journey of self-discovery something that I noticed was the negativity I had. I also noticed it around me. It literally was polluting my environment and holding me back. Preventing me from being happy. I have never been optimistic about anything. I thought I didn’t deserve anything in my life. Didn’t think I was good at anything. This was the farthest from the truth. Aside from my own negativity there were people in my life that no matter what didn’t have positive input. This kept me from truly being able to believe and be positive.
Added to this I carried everyone’s problems on my shoulders, but when I needed a friend they weren’t there. But god forbid I don’t answer when they call or say yes when they needed something. This is something that I think I let happen for a while. I usually get two reactions that I am either cold or really sweet. I think that I am a person and I have my moments. It isn’t that I don’t care, but I have to be able to put myself first before I can handle anything else. True friends will cry to you and then turn around and let you cry to them. The people I am talking about didn’t do this.
This needed to change. These types of people are what I like to call toxic friends. If you are like me you may have a difficulty of just ejecting someone completely from your life. So this is what I did. I put some space between me and these people. I started seeing them in small doses. I like these people for a reason. I see something in them that I like, but I couldn’t handle there constant hate, dislike, criticism. And no matter what I said, what I tried to encourage them with they wouldn’t change. People will not change unless they want to. So like I said small doses, moderation. It is like how you give up a food and drop five pounds. I gave up their negative energy and gained some positive feelings.
The more positive I felt the less their negativity affected me. I like to see a situation as it is. There is a potential for good or bad. I can’t escape that, but I hope for the best. I am not perfect which means I get down. And I may become that toxic friend. But I want my friends to remind me that I don’t need to feel or think that way. Even if it turns out bad, eventually it gets better. IF things were easy it wouldn’t be worth it. So take a look at your environment. Is it a healthy one for you to grow? For you to be happy? Just a thought.