A little about me… where to begin… Yes, I was that girl who hated herself. Just like anyone I had insecurities many in fact. I was tall for my age, matured quickly, and found out quickly that I was very different. And before you think everyone is different, different in the way that I actually went with it instead of trying to conform to the normal. So I wasn’t always happy and I didn’t always feel this way. I spent many nights in my room crying. I spent many years feeling an inner turmoil hating myself because I wasn’t pretty like the other girls, skinny like the other girls, shorter like the other girls, blah,blah, blah!In my head no matter what I would never be pretty enough, good enough, or enough. Whatever difference I could find it was wrong. I was wrong. I was 5’8” and 151 pounds throughout high school. I looked great! I have no idea what I was thinking.
I got up to 160 after high school. Then I had my daughter and weighed 209 at delivery. About four months later I was 230. Crazy!!! I was sad and really went with the self-hate. My poor husband loving me the whole time and I was just hateful. Well fast forward four years and something happened. I am not sure what happened but I wanted to do something to make myself feel good. I did a boudoir photo shoot. I had never felt more confident and sexy. At my heaviest in my life, the heaviest is when I felt the most confident. So this was when I decided that I wanted to lose weight for myself and I would go back and do another shoot when I was at a different point. Not because I hated the way I looked because I knew that if I really wanted to go all out and fit that stinking corset I was going to have to work a little.
I wanted to lose weight for me. To be healthy and to feel comfortable, because I knew I was beautiful, but I could be a BETTER me. Which is fine. We can always improve, but the important this is improvement for the right reasons and loving ourselves through the whole journey. So 44 pounds later, I did another shoot and man what a transformation! What keeps me going is seeing how MY hard work got me to a point where I was even more comfortable. Still not a super model, but I was on fire, even more confident, even more in love myself. Cocky? No, just not insecure. I have flaws and have chosen to embrace them and love myself for who I am. Be who I am. And embrace my different and go all out with it. So why am I doing this? I go day to day with thoughts, ups and downs, and I learn new things. I want to share what I know and learn to help others (specifically young girls) realize that it is ok to be who you are. It is ok to be taller than the boys. It is ok to be you. Love you.